You, my Dear , are an Idiot
by doublejinx
Summary: Putting her quill down,       decides to write away some frustation to a certain paper. Oh dear. This could get ugly. But who knew what just a few letters could do to the wizarding world... Disclaimer: I don't own HP. T for some language. Enjoy!
1. It all Starts with a Letter

Dear idiotic Editor,

It's time to get your fat head out of your even fatter arse! You're an idiot and a hypocrite and don't get me started of that failure of a reporter Skeeter! Is this a newspaper? I don't think so! You never print why this "Boy-Who-Lived" is a atterion-seeking prat or a deluded idiot! In fact, I've met the kid.

You want to know who your beloved hero is? He's a tiny 15 yr old who slept in a cupboard for the first 10 yrs of his life. He's only had a bedroom for the last 5 yrs because he got his letter to Hogwarts! He lives with a horse/cow/giraffe, whale, and a baby elephant (a.k.a. Petunia, Vernon, and Dudley Dursley) who hate him and have abused him his whole live.

If that's not bad enough lets look at his time at Hogwarts. In first year, Quirell had Lord Voldemort on the back of his _**bloody HEAD!**_ _**HIS HEAD! **_The idiot known as Dumbledore has employed these people during Harry's time at Hogwarts: a death eater (Mr. Severus Snape), an imposter (a.k.a. death eater 2/ Mr. Barty Crouch Jr.), a guy with Voldemort on the back of his head (Mr. Quirnus Quirell), an idiot (Gilderoy Lockhart), a ministry loving, stuck-up, half-breed hating, flat-out _**bitch,**_(Ms. Umbitch, I mean Umbridge), a sherry-drinking, idiot who wouldn't recognize a prophecy shoved up her prophetic arse, (Ms. Sybil Trelwaney). I think that covers it.

I'm not going to go any farther. Maybe you can try and interview him or something. Can't be too hard? _He_ _is** just** a 15 yr old boy who can beat Voldemort in a duel after all?_

_**Star B**_


	2. Chaos

Chaos reigned supreme. There was shock everywhere. Just who had sent this letter? Harry, Hermione, Ron, and most of the DA had detentions. For whatever reason Luna and, surprisingly, the twins didn't have a detention yet. Umbridge was stuck. She couldn't after all ban the Daily Prophet. Instead, she settled for sending Filch off to confiscate copies of that issue. The best reaction was probably Harry's himself. In the middle of the chaos and disorder, he stood, told everyone it was true, and then left to Gryffindor tower. Nobody noticed "Star" slip from the Great Hall. Although, on a normal day, it would be unusual if anyone _did_ notice her leave.

_**Dear Miss Star,**_

_**An idiot am I? I suppose if all you say is true, then yes I am an idiot.**_

_**Editor**_

The Daily Prophet's editor's office was flooded with letters, but he was raking in the galleons. He smiled as he thought back to his little visit to Rita's office.

In one illegal Animagus's office, there were Howler's everywhere, long, short, quite, or loud, she had them all. It seemed as though the whole of the wizarding world had sent her a Howler. The best would have to be Molly Weasley's.

_**I cannot believe you would attack a child like that! You should be locked up with the twins for a month! Let them experiment on **__**you**__**! I will never read anything by **__**you**__** again! (Something that sounds like bitch)**_

In the Hogwarts owlery, an owl had just been sent off in the direction of the Daily Prophet. "Star" was in a very good mood as she headed to her dorm.

_**Dear idiotic Editor,**_

_**Now that you've got your head out of your arse, let me tell you about second year. In it, quite a few people were paralyzed. All thanks to my friend Ginny Weasley. You see, she was possessed by a 16-year-old version of Voldemort through his diary that had been slipped into her stuff in Diagon alley by Lucius Malfoy.**_

_**As for Rita, that bitch just so happens to be a bug animagus. Illegally of course. Do enjoy jail, Rita.**_

_**Star B.**_

_**An: **_

_**To a review: Hermione? Hmm… Anywho, the name is actually a hint. You might catch it. We will see if you do.**_

_**Like my letter? You will find out who soon. There are two clues so far. One: the name. Two: In the story.**_

_**Review?**_


	3. Rita Skeeter on jail?

**The Daily Prophet**

**Rita Skeeter: Illegal Animagus!**

**By: Anonymous Daily Prophet Reporter**

**In an interesting turn of events, Rita Skeeter is revealed to be an (illegal) beetle animagus. The charges just seem to pile up. She has already been charged with obstructing the peace, treason, and other things she wasn't even alive for! She will most likely be found guilty as charged.**

**Rita on her reveal-ment: "I'll find out who this "Star" is if it's the last thing I DO!"**

**Turn to pg. 5 for the rest of the article.**

**Want more from Star? Look to pg. 3!**

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_**Doublejinx**_

AN: As you can see, you will have to wait for the reactions to this and the last DiE (Dear idiotic Editor). Just so you know on pg 3 is the last DiE. The next will be in the next ch. I'll leave the rest of the article to your imagination.


	4. 3rd year and a wish

Ginny Weasley was not in a good mood. Sure, the downfall of Skeeter was great, but she wanted to know who had revealed her secrets to the world. What "friend" would do that? The little voice of reason in the back of her head, the one that always sounded like Gred and Forge for some reason, said, "A good one." Well, she was definitely listening to it. The voice had told her not to write in the diary.

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**Dear Miss Star,**

**I've always wanted to get Rita for something. She'll be spending the night Azkaban. After all, this is "her" best front-page news. I have a feeling I know who you are, but let's see where this goes.**

**Editor**

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Luna Lovegood was in a very good mood. For once, she was glad people preferred to avoid her like the plague. She had just sent a letter off in the owlery. One to her father, and the other? None of _your_ business.

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**Dear Editor,**

**The rest of second year, all I know is that it involved the sword of Gryffindor. Or, at least, that's all I'm _supposed_ to know.**

**Third year was the year of innocent escapee. I f you had used truth serum on Sirius Black, you would know that the (illegal) rat animagus Peter Pettigrew was: A.) the Potters' secret keeper, B.) A Death Eater, C.) Alive and hiding out as Scabbers, the Weasley family's pet rat, and D.) the Weasleys' thought he was just a rat.**

**Remus Lupin was the best DADA teacher we've had so far at Hogwarts. Werewolves are only dangerous on the full moon. Give them the Wolfsbane potion and, like magic, they aren't dangerous at all. Yet again, the people involved are wondering how I know this, but I am who I am.**

**Star B.**

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Somewhere in the Slytherin dungeons, Draco Malfoy was having a bad day. You would two if your whole world was turned on its head. Potter not only looked the part, but lived the part of poor, abused orphan. Heck, next thing you knew Potter's parents would turn out to be alive.

"_Be careful what you wish for…"_

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**(Insert a mysterious smile and evil laugh here) Be careful Draco, you might just get what you "wish"!**

**As you can see major cliffhanger. Insert article on Pettigrew before the next chapter, because no, I'm not going to write it. I'd end up with an article filled with cuss words, but I'm sure your imagination can come up with something interesting. If you want, give me a short article in a review.**

_**Doublejinx**_

AN: This ship is officially entering AU zone. Please enjoy the ride.


	5. The 4th DiE and something strange

(insert article on Pettigrew here)

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Sirius Black decided to read the Daily Prophet. If he had been holding something it would have fell to the floor, after all, he was now officially a free man.

In Godric's Hollow, 2 spirits appeared. A red-haired, green-eyed female and a messy-haired, glasses-wearing male. They seemed to become solider by the minute…

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**Dear Miss Star,**

**When will you reveal yourself?**

**I'm sure you will enjoy our front page article.**

**Editor**

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In Hogwarts, everyone execpt most of the D.A. were frozen in their seats. Pettigrew was guilty? Black was innocent? What next? Would Harry's parents come alive? Voldemort kill himself? Dumbledore die? Snape hand out candy? Who knows! Those few who did know acted as if nothing was wrong. They ate their toast, went to the ow- Went to the owerly? Oh, it's just "Star" sending off a letter.

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**Dear Idiotic Editor,**

**You really think I'd tell you? Don't get your head to close to your arse, it'll get sucked in again! And, yes I did enjoy the article on Pettigrew.**

**On to 4th**** year, you already know about this year. Except for the end. In which, Harry dueled the idiotic Voldemort, Cedric was killed by Pettigrew, Voldemort was brought back to life, and Lucius Malfoy, Gregory Goyle, Sr., Vincent Crabbe, Sr., and some others were revealed to be Death Eaters.**

**5****th**** year next time.**

**Star B.**

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Draco Malfoy had, somehow, decided to reform. Could it have to do with him staring at the "Weaslette"?

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AN: I'm setting up the plot now. The letters WILL stop soon. BUT, she will send one at the end of 5

**th**** and 6****th**** and 7****th**** . But, those years will be very AU. I'm also setting up a few pairings if I can pull them off. But, remember, not every beginning will end with them paired… **

**In other words, I might have to change the title later on to fit the story better. Maybe something like, "It All Begins with an Idiotic Editor"? Sound good?**

**Anywho, drop me a review?**


	6. The Written Bashing of One Umbridge

The Weasley twins were fed up with the Toad. It was time to run her out…

(Insert the firecracker scene and the twins flying away)

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**Dear Miss Star,**

**Continue. Don't worry you may be seeing an article about Death Eaters soon…**

**Editor**

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**2 days later….**

**Death Eaters captured!**

**In an interesting turn of events not only were the D.E.s from Star's letter arrested but also, so was our current Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge. Fudge was arrested for indirect Death Eater involvement. Some of which includes excepting bribes from known/unknown D.E.s, deliberately covering for D.E.s, and attempting to hide the fact that the Dark Lord V. has returned.**

**(For more on the Death Eaters and their lives until capture see the Quibbler article "'Eaters exposed!")**

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Luna Lovegood was strange. She saw things others did not and seemed to be connected to Hogwarts itself. She knew it was unlikely anyone would figure her out. Nevertheless, one boy seemed to be getting darn close…

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**Dear idiotic Editor,**

**Time to get your arrest warrants out again. Dolores Jane Umbridge, a.k.a. the Toad and Umbitch, has: used a blood quill on students, signed a permission slip to let Filch torture students, and made "Educational Decrees" that lead to students' educations suffering.**

**But that's not all: She has forced Dumbledore to leave, told everyone Harry & co. are lying, and only "teaches" DADA **_**theory**_**. You heard me right, she doesn't teach practical lessons at all.**

**I ask you this. If someone cannot teach are they a Professor? If someone can't access the Headmaster's office, are they Headmaster? If someone is a "half-breed", is that a viable reason to fire them?**

**No, no, and no are your answers. But that's not all, all year "Professor" (he can't teach either) Snape has mind raped one Harry Potter. Thus, making his head more accessible to V-. "Professor" Snape is a known Death Eater yet, here he is "teaching" at Hogwarts.**

**I ask you this, is this acceptable? Is this right? WILL YOU ALLOW THIS TO CONTINUE? People of the wearing world, I ask to stand up, to question authority, to not follow blindly. I ask you not to be sheep! Let your heart guide you, your intuition, your sense of right and wrong. Someone once said that you must choose between doing what is right and what is easy. What will YOU choose? It is your choice. Not your family's, not the minister's, not your House's. Harry Potter could have easily been a Slytherin. That one sentence tells you a simple fact: just because you are _ does not mean you are _. **

**Learn the difference between right and wrong. Until next time.**

**Star B.**

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Two fully formed ghosts made their way to Hogwarts although whether they would stay ghosts…

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Draco Malfoy was seen quite a few times that day with Ginny Weasley. Although when Ron ended up with rainbow colored hair, it was obvious why Draco had been staring at Ginny.

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**On another note, Snape handed out candy in class.**

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**AN: 2 out of 3! Now, will Dumbledore die? Hmm… I don know. I enjoyed this letter. I read another fanfic where they referred to the wizarding world as sheep, if only I could remember where…**

**I'm sure you're wondering if the Ministry scene will happen. Nope. Although part of it will-ish.**

**WOOT! TWO PAGES!**

**Enjoyed it? Only one way for me to find out… REVIEW!**

**Signing off!**

**Doublejinx**


	7. Match Point

Harry Potter woke up in the common room. He had just the most horrible nightmare. In which Mr. Weasley had been bitten by a snake at work. The stangest the thing was that there was a little voice at the back of his head saying, "_He hadn't seen it from the eyes of the snake, not this time around." _But he put it out of his mind and thought back to the twins running Umbridge off and enlisting Peeves to help them.

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Sirius Black was in a very good mood. He had gotten custody of his godson and there was nothing Albus "I-Think-I-Know-Every-Bloody-Thing" Dumbledore could do about it!

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Molly Weasley was in tears. Arthur had been killed by a snake that had a Horrocrux in it, whatever that was! He had managed to kill the thing before he died. The only good thing that had come of it was that the Horrocrux-thingy had been Voldemort's. It was a good thing that at one point in her life she had a been a bookworm. Right now she was planning on going through her extensive collection of DA books. She had learned a long time ago that it was good to know thy enemy…

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Dumbledore was angry. Not "I-Am-Dumbledore-Fear-Me" angry, but the "I'm-Goimg-To-Destroy-This-Bloody-Room-With-One-Bloody-Spell-'Cause-I'm-Bloody-Dumbledore" kind. All of his carefully laid plans were being destroyed thanks to this bloody "Star". But first he had to figure if "Star" was male or female…

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**Fudge Exposed!**

**From student tortue to misstrials, Star tells all!**

**By: Star B.**

**Fudge has fudged a great many things to get into the position of power he was in. He's swept many things under the rug(so to speak), killed many, and tortured those who tell the truth. While he's not done much of the dirty work himself, his former Senior Undersecretary, Umbridge, has.**

**In exclusive tell-all, Percy Weasley says, " We were forced to take oaths to prevent us from telling anyone anything. These oaths overided everything, they even forced me to "disown" myself from my family."**

**These oaths, we discovered, were as close to Unbreakable Vows as you could get. They were in essence unbreakable, but they weren't Unbreakable Vows because for an Unbreakable Vow to work one must be willing. They were also about as close to an Imperius as you can get as well.**

**The Quibller article on Fudge killing Goblins are quite true, he has for years tried to take control of Gringotts and even many stores. Since he has been in office, he has tried to take control of: Ollivander's, Eyelop's Owl Emporium, Flourish & Botts, Burgin & Burkes, and other shops in various alleys.**

**(For more turn to pg. 3)**

**(Want to find the grain of truth in the Quibller article? Turn to pg. 7)**

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Hermoine Granger felt slightly different about someone. She thought at first it was just her age. When she realized she only felt that way about him. She knew it'd take a long while to sort out her feelings, but she definetly wouldn't let it alter her friendship with him…

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In St. Mungo's long term care ward, two patients mysteriously showed up, while two more started to " wake-up". When patient number LAL342 saskedd for her son, St. Mungo's was turned on it's head. And when patient number LFL341 asked for his mother, well… said mother was in tears. Two nurses went to check on the new patients and give them a number when two numbers not seen in years appeared. LLP342 and LJP341. The nurses at St. Mungo's knew then that they would be in for a _long_ day.

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AN: Wow, that was fun. Please vote in the poll on my profile for a new name for this story. The current name doesn't fit now that the story isn't focused on the letters the poll will be open until sometime mid-April. How do you like my hyphens? Any questions that I can answer I will. I'm planning on revealing "Star" next chapter. Any Reviewer that guesses correctly gets a chapter dedicated to them. Samething if you can guess what their numbers stand for. But the review

_**must **_**be on **_**this**_** chapter. **

**Anywho, Drop me review?**

**Doublejinx**


	8. Turning Point

**AN: This chapter is dedicated to _KKool_ for getting the most answers correct. The full answer will be revealed in the AN at the end. A chapter will soon be dedicated to: angelafarooq**

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Luna wished she had someone to confine in. Someone to tell the truth. To explain herself to. So she turned to the boy in front of her and began to tell her tale. How she became a "present" seer from a near-fatal (and fatal for her mum) potions experiment. She had survived but only barely. The boy in front of her knew just how bad potion accidents could be. She didn't think she'd ever let down her guard completely before. She hadn't said it completely, but she had a feeling he knew who she was. Her name was a goal and a dream. A tip of the hat to her mother, if you will. Her mum had been named after a star. So, her penname (It'd taken Luna a bit to decide) was Star.

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Dumbledore was quite confused. No one knew who Star was. On the other hand, if they did, they had very good Occulmency. Of course, he never once thought to check one boy's mind…

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Molly Weasley was shocked. Horrocruxes required an act of cold-blooded murder and the only way to destroy them was to injure them beyond all magical repair. Basilk Venom, Fiendfyre, those sorts of things…

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Hermione was trying to read, but she was caught in a whirlwind of emotions she just couldn't figure out. They all centered around one boy. Were they just friends or was it something… more? She could not possibly know that at this very moment, said boy was thinking along the same lines about _her_, but Luna did.

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When patient number LLP342 and LJP341 were up and then walked over to the Longbottoms, the nurses knew their work was cut out for them. However, when the Potters and the Longbottoms waltzed out of St. Mungo's like nothing was wrong, well, the nurses knew Fate was laughing at them somewhere.

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And now we return to Sirius Black, who was currently searching for a house. After all, there was no way in hell he was returning to Grimauld Place and he would need a place to live that Dumbledore didn't know about because he wasn't about to let bloody Dumbledore put Harry back in that hellhole called the Dursley's house.

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In the Ministry and Daily Prophet Headquarters, there were quite a lot of Howlers. The wizarding world, it seemed, had taken Luna's message to heart. Tom's power base was falling apart. But, someone else was quite upset about all his carefully laid plans were falling apart. Luna thought that, if he knew all the compulsion charms and such Dumbles the Idiot had used, Merlin would be rolling over in his grave.

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Luna just wished they had more help.

A voice drifted in, long after Luna had left, and whispered,

"_Be careful what you wish for, Luna. Many good wishes do come your way. But always remember, my dear, be careful what you wish for."_

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AN: Dun Dun Duuunn! Just who is this mysterious wish-granting voice anyway? We'll just have to wait and see won't we? Hope you enjoyed this installment of You, my Dear, are an Idiot. Although the title may change soon if y'all vote in the poll. -Glares at readers- -notices y'all- Crap, my south-eastern U.S.A.-ness is showing through.

**The first L stands for Long Term-Care Ward. Depending on your ward you get a different letter. There is also significance behind them having the same number. Lily and Alice were good friends and I'm assuming Frank and James were as well. To give all you Hermiones out there a better idea of the system, Harry's would be like this: HHP341. 341 since he's heir to the Potter estate and such (heads & heirs of the Longbottoms & Potters have that number) and H for Hogwarts. Lily's would look something like: PLLEP342. P for Pregnancy ward, L for where she is or was, and E for Evans. The ward letters only show the two most recent. If you died in St. Mungo's it would show a D for death ward. When in St. Mungo's it only show the current form as the long one is only for records and, thus, includes maiden name. Satisfied?**

**Also, I killed Arthur because JKR decided to kill Tonks and Remus because she let him live. So Mr. Weasley dies and Mrs. Weasley and the rest of the Weasley family are no longer under Dumbles the Idiot's thumb. And many good things come to those not under Dumbles thumb.**

**A present seer is someone who sees something as or just after. Luna is so used to it she can hold a coversation at the same time and, if need be, uses the crazy creatures as an excuse.**

**No, Dumbledore is not evil. He's just played chess with people's lives for far too long.**


	9. The Long Road to Home

**AN: I'm back! Spring's been over for over a week and this chapter is finished! Yay! Enjoy this new installment. (In case anyone's wondering, It All Started with an Idiotic Editor is winning the poll. Vote, please!) No, this is not an April Fools joke!**

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Merlin being, well, Merlin had just found what Dumbledore had done and was rolling over in his grave.

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The school year was close to it's grand finale, a few more days, weeks, maybe a month, and it would be done.

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Sirius had found the perfect house. No more Grimauld Place, no more Dumbledore. Little did he know, some of his friends were waiting inside…

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Dumbledore was back at square one. As far as he knew no one knew anything about this Star person, but, yet again, he had skipped over the person who knew everything and Star herself. Not that means ol' Dumbles knows that Star is a she.

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Molly had a brilliant idea, she remembered that locket that no one was able to open. It had said Slytherin on it, and maybe that meant a Parseltounge needed to open it… But that could wait, she needed to figure out where the rest were. Little did she know the next book she opened would have a rather useful way to destroy a horrocrux without destroying the container, and little did she know that this way of removal would become very important in the near future.

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Hermione was still in her whirlwind when she ran into said boy. Let's just what happened involved her getting a boy friend and some kissing. Okay, okay, there _may_ have been more than one kiss, but nothing more. What you don't believe me? Get your head out of the gutter!

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A girl was curled up in a comfy chair contemplating Luna's newest wish and how to fulfill it. Realizing she had already started she whispered, "_You're on the long road to home, my dears, the long road to home."_

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Dobby had an idea. While usually Dobby's plans aren't that good, Lady Luck was apparently smiling down at him. Dobby decided to see if his friend Harry Potter needed a house elf!

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Harry had finally made a decision. He would press charges against the Dursleys. His life was finally looking up. He had a girlfriend, a future, money, and… the closest thing to a family he had ever known. Sirius, Hermione, Lupin, Ron, The Weasleys, Luna, and Neville. Luna and Neville may have been the newest additions, but they were great friends.

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McGonagall was worried about Dumbledore. He was unnaturally obsessed with who Star was and he kept mumbling about Star messing up his plans. Maybe… Then, she heard something rather strange. A voice out nowhere whispered, _" Minerva, the first seed of doubt will lead you to the correct conclusion." _McGonagall gasped, if this meant what she thought it meant…

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**AN: I have no idea where that last paragraph came from. This chapter was the hardest. I don't know how I got this chapter last a page. Please leave me a review! I need suggestions! I have no idea where to go from here! Please help! Please!**

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Thanks!

**Doublejinx**


	10. A Journey of a Thousand Miles

Disclaimer: Neither do I own (never) Do What You're Told, the song Luna's listening to. That amazing song is owned by The Remus Lupins.

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A beautiful girl sat in a chair, scribbling furiously. She looked up suddenly and swore.

"_No! I need more time! Please Luna, Hermione, get this right. You have to! This all hangs on your shoulders." _The girl sighed. If only they could get this right, then… A tall boy walked up, _"Calm, Vicky. No need to get up in a fuss. They can do it, and if not the boy's will figure out what's needed to be done"_

"_And if they don't?"_

"_Do you really think Minerva McGonagall would stay out of this mess after what you told her?"_

"_Not really…" _She grinned, she was_ so_ lucky to have such good friend. He left and she went back to her scribbling. She only knew so much of the future, but she would definitely make sure they went down the right path this time.

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The now familiar wish-giving voice was whispered long after Luna had left the area by the lake.

"_No, not this time around! No, definitely not this time around. I promise you Luna., you will not have to deal with horrors of the war this time around. Never again will I stand by the sidelines!"_

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Sirius stepped in the door, only to see Lily and James. "What the bloody hell?"

"It's us."

"Prove it! Who was the first to master the animagus transformations, Wormtail," he spat Pettigrew's nickname like it was poison, "Padfoot, or Prongs?"

"Prongs."

Sirius grinned, "Just in case, though. What was the last thing I said to my brother before I left my "wonderful" home?"

"You said, "I'm sorry brother."

Let's leave them to their happy reunion, shall we?

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Minerva McGonagall was not a happy camper. No, no, definitely _not_ a happy camper in any form, fashion or definition of the phrase. Now, normally, she likes having her suspicions proved correct, but in cases like these… Albus had slowly been going dark and it had started his first year out of Hogwarts and with a few more steps, she was afraid that he'd on the road to no redemption. She was positive he was already on the way to hell, or at the very least some of the worst Hades could hand him.

She walked down the hall, straight-backed and proud. Minerva knew she had to stop Albus and his crazy obsession with finding out who Star was.

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Luna was dancing in her crazy clothes to some crazy song.

" '_Cause your words were like acid and you can't see so clear_

_It's from the truth that your twistin' lies you whisper in my ear_

_And your tongue got confudus with the mysteries you told_

_No you can't fool us 'Cause this getting old"_

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All-in-all, for Harry and co. this was not a normal day. And that's saying something. For them normal days consist life threatening events, dangerous creatures, escaped criminals, and in some form or fashion, Voldemort and/or Snape. Not that they were upset with this development. Unusual days were a blessing to them. So they took them when they could get them, and made the best of them.

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Meanwhile, in dark and depressing Manor house somewhere in the English countryside, Voldemort was in a rage. Anyone who dared come near him was promptly Crucio-ed. As such, his followers quickly learned to stay away from him. So, he was currently transfiguring dust into rocks and then Reducto-ing them, rinse and repeat. Why he was in a such a rage was some of the usual and a rather new addition to his top ten most wanted list.

1. Harry Potter

2. This "Star"

3. Former 2nd place: Dumbledore

You get the idea. This Star person had ruined any chance he had of recruiting new Death Eaters and most of the ones he already had were killing themselves. Maybe he should do the world a favor and go ahead and off himself… No, no, he would bide his time and just wait 'til they weren't expecting it. Then he would attack with all his might. Little do he know, he was one of the most predictable people in the world. Hell, he probably is number one on the list of the most predictable people in the world.

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AN: This one was definitely fun to write. Have you ever heard of Grooveshark? It's an awesome website where you can listen to music and there is an amazing amount of wrock (wizard rock) songs on there. By the way this last chance to vote. I will be posting the new title before the next chapter, and the chapter after that I will change the title.

Before I go I'll leave you with a few questions:

Who is this Vicky?

Does Vicky have anything to do with the Mysterious Wish-Giving Voice (Now formally known as MWGV)?

What is McG going to do to our dear friend Dumbles the Insane? Turn him into a pincushion?

Who will our new minister be, and will Fudge show his incompetent face again?

Who knows? Find out on the next episode of: You, My Dear, are an Idiot!


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